The expensive nutcracker

I couldn't think what the special occasion was. It wasn't her birthday, anniversary or valentines day but she still let me know in no uncertain terms that I was a pathetic little mocker for forgetting to get her a present. As far as I was concerned, it was then all about damage limitation. I could spend time trying to decipher what I'd done wrong or I could get her one of those nutcrackers that has the internet on it. Throughout the ages, many a man has attempted to unravel the mysteries of a woman's mind and spectacularly failed. I simply hadn't got the few hundred years it would take to figure out what I had done wrong so I dug up the pieces of the cut up credit card, stuck them back together with blood, sweat and tears and bought her the nutcracker that has the internet on it: