Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The Elephant made from itself.

Sugartastic Daddy John can wear all the stylish clothes he wants and have the kinkiest afro imaginable but he’ll never be as cool as the elephant made from the letters that spell elephant:


Monday, January 30, 2012

Jesus Condom

Although we think it's really funny, we had to hide the laughter from Little Dill Y. He thinks it's okay to be friends with people with funny names. Not only that but he actively looks for people with funny names and becomes their friend. Last week we had a Chuck Norris around for tea although if anyone asks, we didn't say that Chuck Norris is a funny name. We're not totally stupid. Last night we got a call from Scurvy Helen's mum to ask if he could go over to play with  Scurvy Helen. We haven't met his latest friend yet although we have seen a picture of him. I hope he doesn't bring him home because it's going to be so hard to keep a straight face:  


Sunday, January 29, 2012

Synchronized Exercising

Joe likes his exercise and likes his family to like exercise too. Children can pick up habits at an early age and this suits Joe completely. Although synchronized exercising is not in the next Olympic Games, Joe is taking the initiative and getting ahead of the curve, just in case:


Saturday, January 28, 2012


I say the wrong thing,  675 times more often that I say the right thing. If I had to put money in a jar every time I said something wrong, the jar would have to be the size of a large country + a medium sized country - a small country. It's right to take pleasure in other peoples misfortune which is why I enjoyed reading this:


Friday, January 27, 2012

Be careful what you laugh at because you could end up nearly married

I shot myself in the foot and now I don’t have a leg to stand on. I’d love to blame someone else but it was all my own fault. Jill Y told me a joke and I laughed at it. One thing led to another and many, many years later, we’re a couple that fight so often that we might as well be married. The funny thing is that I didn’t even understand the joke. I just thought it was funny because the guy at the bottom says “puddin”:


Thursday, January 26, 2012

Bill Y is a little bit worried

I’m scared. I’m scared that my sense of humour may have decided to visit elsewhere and has no intention of coming back. I don’t say this lightly. I think I have proof which I’ll share with you right now. Have a look at the following sign:

Do you think it’s funny? I ask because I’m not sure if I do or not. There was a time when I would find this sign so funny that I would excrete something that shouldn’t be excreted while laughing, but not now. Now I look at this sign and I wonder if it’s a parking space for non-big people. I want to laugh at it but not am sure if I can. Because of political correctness, I’m afraid that it’s wrong to laugh at parking spaces for non-big people - and is it right to call them non-big people anyway? Maybe they have a little word to describe themselves that I don’t know of which would be politically correct to use? I just don’t know anymore and am going a little bit mad. I really hope that my sense of humour is only gone for a holiday and not for good.



Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sweep it under the carpet

I can't quite figure out how I ended up in this mess but apparently I ordered a set of 24 encyclopedias. The fact that I have no recollection of buying them is not surprising because I don't remember getting married or divorced either. To add massive insult to massive injury, I only went and ordered a second set of the same thing. I now had 48 books that I didn't need. I ended up giving one set to Jill Y because we had an major argument about hula hoops and I had to get into her good books. I then ripped up 23 of them and used the last one to clean up afterwards:  


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Funky Hands Free Car Phone

Money is the answer to all things, the root of all evil and something we haven't seen since 1976. It was Thirsty Dave's birthday and due to having no money, we were broke. It's times like these, you're forced to get creative when giving presents. The thirsty one had his heart set on one of those funky hands free car phones and we're not the type of people to let people down:


Monday, January 23, 2012

Little Sense

If you surround yourself with positive people, positivity will rub off on you. If you surround yourself with negative people, negativity will run through you faster than the Millennium Falcon being chased by The Enterprise across the surface of Pandora on its way to Caprica. To change this world for the better we need to start looking after the kids who will inherit our mess. It's doubtful that any politician has even come close to making as much sense as this little girl:


Sunday, January 22, 2012

Spot the difference and win nothing

Noel "Gnome Lover" Nolan, is not famous around these parts but if there was any justice, he would be. This most dedicated lover of gnomes is not a Bon Jovi fan, not a fan of the Star Wars prequels and not someone who doesn't dress like a gnome. Look with your eyes on this picture and see if you can spot the difference between him and his gnome posse:


Saturday, January 21, 2012

The day the laughter stopped

They both enjoyed a sense of humuur. Larry laughed and made fun of her when she quit smoking. This went on for an amount of time. Then it stopped:     


Friday, January 20, 2012

Always have focus and direction on your chosen path of life

Life isn't easy when you travel the world, preaching to Bon Jovi fans on the lack of creativity of the so called music of Bon Jovi. The need to be focused is ever present as is the need to be present. The Bon Jovi fan is always easy to spot. If they're not wearing an 'I heart Bon Jovi' t-shirt, you can usually just follow the herd of sheep following the herd and you will eventually get to your destination. Every now and sometimes, I get confused by east and west but it usually turns out alright because I always carry a picture of my favorite Actor/Director:


Thursday, January 19, 2012

Confusion raises its confusing head

Can somebody please tell me why this world is so confusing? There I was minding my own business, keying in my PIN and not causing a nuisance to people or Bon Jovi fans. My feeble mind hadn't a clue what to do and I don't think anyone could blame me. It was just too confusing:


Wednesday, January 18, 2012

WARNING: Reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed ideas of ‘beauty’.

You think you've seen it all until you see something else. Thirsty Dave is not one who is endowed with subtlety or common sense. There have been times when he has said stuff that his brain hadn't even realized it was thinking about. When moments like these arise, it's not uncommon for him to get arrested for nothing other than being a threat to national stupidity. And then, out of the blue, he looks after one of Sugartastic Daddy John's fashion boutiques for the day and decides to question our preconception of what beauty is:


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Check this out–The business that will only deal with people who are alive

Sugartastic Daddy John is the type of shady individual who has the need to cash cheques in a hurry. It's not that the cheques are in any way dodgy or anything. In fact, I'd go as far as saying they're the best Photoshop created cheques I've ever seen. The Daddy usually exchanges these items of supposed worth in a little back-alley shop, up a back-alley. Last night he went to do a bit of business but there was a new owner who had some crazy rule of only dealing with people who are alive:


Monday, January 16, 2012

Peter and I tell it like it is.

I refer to my younger brother as "he who is not as massively confused as I am". This is because he is not as massively confused as I am. I refer to my younger sister as "she who knows better than me in all situations". This is because she knows better than me in all situations. Peter refers to his younger brother as something totally different and only he knows why:


Sunday, January 15, 2012

Like fathers, like sons

On any given day, Sugartastic Daddy John, Thirsty Dave and I are as confused as a greedy baby in a topless bar full of topless women. It's not that we don't have a clue about what we're doing. It's just that we're very forgetful and don't have a clue about what we're doing. Jill Y, with her Scientist hat on, reckons that we're very much a product of our parents and she might just be onto something. Our fathers too, were massively confused about the world around them:


Saturday, January 14, 2012

Science Happens

Candles and pencils, unlike Bon Jovi and good music, have something in common. When you light a candle, science happens and it gradually starts to get smaller. When you start writing with a pencil, science happens and it gradually starts to get smaller. It’s for this reason that you should always think twice before using pencils as promotion tools:

Friday, January 13, 2012

You may not have been aware but you are now

To the casual connoisseur, It's good to mock is not a news service, serving the good people with news but to the trained eye, It's good to mock is not a news service, serving the good people with news, either. That’s all about to change right now as we become artists and draw your attention to something:


Thursday, January 12, 2012

The great controller of my life talks about her new app

As a Scientist, Jill Y is always using words I don't understand such as logic, maths and Kardashian. I'm a simple minded, old skool type of guy who really only understands the necessity to remove the so called music of Bon Jovi from society, Paris Hilton and hula hoops. Imagine then, my surprise when the great controller of my life, told me about the new app that she was working on. I'm all for toasters and modern technology but there are just some things that I don't want an app to tell me:


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Complete Solar System

All is not well at It's good to mock HQ. Last year, I won a trip for two to the Oktoberfest beer festival in Germany. The obvious choice would have been to take Thirsty Dave but I chose to take Jill Y. Yesterday, Jill Y won $15,000 because she had more shoes under the one roof, than anyone else in Europe. I didn't expect her to share half the money with me but I didn't expect her to spend it all on herself either:


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The truth will set you free

I think it was someone from The Bible who said "the truth will set you free" and never a truer word was said. The unbitter Larry Souter, 53, after a 13 year stint in prison, was only too happy for the truth to set him free. And what a truth it was:


Monday, January 9, 2012

Back in a job

Nobody knows exactly what it means but according to the word on the street, Thirsty Dave has a cool back. For as long as 3 or even 4 hours, he's been looking for a job where he can use his talented back to make money. We laughed at him until we stopped. It looks like the boot might be on the other hand. There may not be a lot of money in it but he found exactly what he wanted:


Sunday, January 8, 2012

Telegram Scott

Scott has been friends with Scurvy Jane for as long as 5 years + 6 years - 2 years +5 years. They grew up together on the farm and by farm, I mean an area of land and its buildings used for growing crops and rearing animals. Scott was a massive fan of nightlife and all it had to offer but he recently got married and changed his ways. If you thought telegrams were a thing of the past, you were wrong as Scott's telegram clearly shows: 


Saturday, January 7, 2012

Such a charitable, selfless, giving individual, you could not meet.

The kindness of Thirsty Dave knows no bounds. There are those who go through life thinking only of themselves and then there's Thirsty Dave. Some people wouldn't give you the time of day but the thirsty one would. Occasionally, some embrace the need to make society better but when it comes down to it, they refuse to get rid of their Bon Jovi music but not Thirsty Dave. Such a charitable, selfless, giving individual, you could not meet as his latest humanitarian act shows:



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