Synchronized Exercising

Joe likes his exercise and likes his family to like exercise too. Children can pick up habits at an early age and this suits Joe completely. Although synchronized exercising is not in the next Olympic Games, Joe is taking the initiative and getting ahead of the curve, just in case:

Correction

I say the wrong thing,  675 times more often that I say the right thing. If I had to put money in a jar every time I said something wrong, the jar would have to be the size of a large country + a medium sized country - a small country. It's right to take pleasure in other peoples misfortune which is why I enjoyed reading this:

Be careful what you laugh at because you could end up nearly married

I shot myself in the foot and now I don’t have a leg to stand on. I’d love to blame someone else but it was all my own fault. Jill Y told me a joke and I laughed at it. One thing led to another and many, many years later, we’re a couple that fight so often that we might as well be married. The funny thing is that I didn’t even understand the joke. I just thought it was funny because the guy at the bottom says “puddin”:

Bill Y is a little bit worried

I’m scared. I’m scared that my sense of humour may have decided to visit elsewhere and has no intention of coming back. I don’t say this lightly. I think I have proof which I’ll share with you right now. Have a look at the following sign:

Do you think it’s funny? I ask because I’m not sure if I do or not. There was a time when I would find this sign so funny that I would excrete something that shouldn’t be excreted while laughing, but not now. Now I look at this sign and I wonder if it’s a parking space for non-big people. I want to laugh at it but not am sure if I can. Because of political correctness, I’m afraid that it’s wrong to laugh at parking spaces for non-big people - and is it right to call them non-big people anyway? Maybe they have a little word to describe themselves that I don’t know of which would be politically correct to use? I just don’t know anymore and am going a little bit mad. I really hope that my sense of humour is only gone for a holiday and not for good.






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Sweep it under the carpet

I can't quite figure out how I ended up in this mess but apparently I ordered a set of 24 encyclopedias. The fact that I have no recollection of buying them is not surprising because I don't remember getting married or divorced either. To add massive insult to massive injury, I only went and ordered a second set of the same thing. I now had 48 books that I didn't need. I ended up giving one set to Jill Y because we had an major argument about hula hoops and I had to get into her good books. I then ripped up 23 of them and used the last one to clean up afterwards:  

Funky Hands Free Car Phone

Money is the answer to all things, the root of all evil and something we haven't seen since 1976. It was Thirsty Dave's birthday and due to having no money, we were broke. It's times like these, you're forced to get creative when giving presents. The thirsty one had his heart set on one of those funky hands free car phones and we're not the type of people to let people down:

Little Sense

If you surround yourself with positive people, positivity will rub off on you. If you surround yourself with negative people, negativity will run through you faster than the Millennium Falcon being chased by The Enterprise across the surface of Pandora on its way to Caprica. To change this world for the better we need to start looking after the kids who will inherit our mess. It's doubtful that any politician has even come close to making as much sense as this little girl:

Spot the difference and win nothing

Noel "Gnome Lover" Nolan, is not famous around these parts but if there was any justice, he would be. This most dedicated lover of gnomes is not a Bon Jovi fan, not a fan of the Star Wars prequels and not someone who doesn't dress like a gnome. Look with your eyes on this picture and see if you can spot the difference between him and his gnome posse: