Monday, June 11, 2012

Mel Gibson: Groups Offended Checklist

We sometimes offend some people and we sometimes offend them a lot. I say 'people', I mean Bon Jovi fans. Those who know us, know that they should take us with a pinch of salt, followed by some arsenic, followed by two pinches of salt, followed by some more arsenic, followed by a nice cup of tea, laced with arsenic. We made a list of people we offend both purposely and on purpose and we came up with 'Bon Jovi' and 'Bon Jovi fans'. As neither of these two groups have any relevance to anything, we can sleep easily at night and sometimes at morning too. If we're going to learn to really offend on a massive, offensive level, we need only look to the lethal weapon, himself:


Monday, May 14, 2012

This goes to 11

The following is a joke. It's a joke that's not going to be explained. If you get it, it's possibly the funniest thing, you're ever going to laugh at. If you don't get it, don't feel too bad as not every joke is for everyone:


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Sorry, are you talking to me?

I'm not a big fan of listening to people, preferring not to listen to them. There's no point in talking to me because I'm already bored before you even open your nonsense filled mouth. If you really want to try and convince me about the advantages of becoming a vegetarian, go ahead and try your worse but all that I know is:


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I’m a Bon Jovi hating moron with all the charm of a block of demolished apartments that where demolished because the architect had the talent of one of Paris Hilton's dogs.

If I was to describe myself, I would say, I'm "brilliant". If you knew me and were to describe me, you would say I'm a "Bon Jovi hating moron with all the charm of a block of demolished apartments that where demolished because the architect had the talent of one of Paris Hilton's dogs". I can sometimes be blunt and tell things the way they are. Some people don't like the truth. Excuse me for a moment, while I tell my son's friend, the way it is:


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Natural Flavor With Other Natural Flavor

Some words sometimes say what we want them to say and some words say some things that say nothing about sense at all. Maybe it's laziness, maybe it's a stroke of marketing genius or maybe it's a combination of both but the natural flavors of this vanilla creme bar are definitely natural:


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Management Positions Available

Scurvy Jane decided that she was going to decide to do it. She had thought about applying for the position for one week and three weeks and 2 days. It was a management position that included vacation, uniforms and meals. The only thing she was hesitant about was the salary:


Sunday, April 22, 2012

Thirsty Dave and the Drunks with Guns

I'm not saying Thirsty Dave is anti-social but just because I'm not saying it, doesn't mean it's not true.  Sure, he'll talk to you and order a beer and give you the money for the beer and drink the beer but that's only if you're a Bartender or someone who tends bars. They say opposites attract but that's just not true. Thirsty Dave recently decided to give back to the community and along with some like minded friends, sent out a statement of intent:


Monday, April 16, 2012

Becky Grimmer–Single

Thirsty Dave has never been single. The thirsty one and beer go hand in hand like beer and a beer drinkers hand on beer. He looked at the face of Becky Grimmer on the television screen and realized there and then that he loved this woman but he just could not figure out why this heavenly angel was single:



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