It’s funny ‘cause it’s true

As you can imagine, I was a fairly brilliant kid. When I did something wrong, I was told to go to my room. It was all “Bill Y, stop playing adagio for strings on that guitar that MacGyver made from a matchbox and shoelace and go to your room” or “Bill Y, stop telling your sister how the bible ends and go to your room”. I would sit in the empty corner and sulk as I contemplated socio-economic policies. Kids today have it so much easier:

My parents never hit me. Sure, the occasional push down the well but nothing too serious.

If I did something wrong when I was little, my parents would applaud me. This would confuse the bejaysus out of me and I would spend so much time trying to figure out why they were applauding that I would stop doing whatever bold thing I was doing. Unconventional maybe, but it did me no harm and look how unevenly balanced I turned out to be! My parents never hit me. Sure, the occasional push down the well but nothing too serious. I’ve always thought that hitting kids is the wrong thing to do and now there’s some striking evidence to support this view:

A cup of kitten is the perfect way to start the day

Lately I’ve been doing some strange stuff. I’m nearly partially but not completely off the coffee. I needed something to drink when not drinking coffee so I decided to go for something completely different. I decided a cup of kitten is the perfect way to start the day:




Unfortunately, there are some side effects to drinking kitten. I find myself making basic mistakes with grammer. Luckily, the internet is everywhere. If I’m unsure of something, I just ask the internet and it usually helps me out with the correct answer. Sometimes things can still be quite tricky. I posted this on a forum and am just waiting for someone to come back to me with the right answer:





I also find myself asking a lot more questions since the kitten drinking started. I’ve always had a thirst for knowledge, especially knowledge of coffee and kittens but lately I’ve started asking questions about all sorts of things. Let me give you an example:

I’m not one of those great thinkers like Einstein or Paris Hilton

Life. People keep telling me that it’s not supposed to be easy. Sometimes they use deep and meaningful clichés like “life is like a jar of jalapenos - what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow” or “Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life”. I’m not one of those great thinkers like Einstein or Paris Hilton so I have to figure things out as I go along. I find it hard to explain things but I feel like I’m here for a reason and I’m trying to find someone. This guy seems to think someone is trying to find him:

I blame the parents

I don’t remember much about being a baby but then again, quite a lot has happened since then. When you’re a baby, everything is amazing. So much happens so fast in front of your baby eyes. So much of our personality is derived from what we see and do as a baby. It’s at this stage that we depend on our parents most. The truly cool parents will give a baby as much variety as possible and allow them to cultivate a little individual baby personality. Some parents however, take things to another level:

 

Like father like son

My father is a quiet, unassuming character. I would not describe myself with the same words. Having said that, throughout the years, I’ve been picking up similarities from him. My father played drums - I’ve been a musician since I was 16. My father has a sense of humour - I’ve been looking for a sense of humour for as long as I could look for stuff. My father married my mum – I like women too. There have been many books written about turning into your father or mother and if I could read, I’d probably read some of them. Until that day arrives, I always have pictures. Here’s one of those very things now:

Let us not however, think that the pain of separation is a process which is confined to people only

“All I want from life is to remove Bon Jovi from the realm of consciousness and be accepted as brilliant” Bill Y 2010

Separation can be a bad thing. Sometimes we can be part of something for so long that separation can become close to unbearable. Dependency is directly proportionate to the amount of time we spend with a person, place or thing. An example of this would be Bon Jovi. If you’ve been listening to Bon Jovi for a long time you may begin to think you’re listening to music. If you stop listening to Bon Jovi, you may experience withdrawal symptoms but a treatment of Tom Waits or Nick Cave will, over time, restore you to proper health. Let us not however, think that the pain of separation is a process which is confined to people only:

 

 

The truth can sometimes be hard to swallow

At It’s good to mock, we’re big into debates. We debate all sort of things. From the minor issues of the day – The global recession, to the more serious – Do camels ever get the hump? Jill Y and I rarely agree but we can usually work through our differences. We were in an internet cafe the other day and a casual remark grew into a major argument: