Flood (not Colm)
People have been telling me that I’ve been quite funny lately. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve caught some sort of heightened Super Funny virus. Please don’t think I’m joking. I haven’t been able to sleep as I keep laughing at the thoughts running around in my vacant head. It used to be a good thing. If something bad happened, I would use humour to turn it into a positive, laugh at it and it would all be good. That was then. Back then I had a choice. I could choose to use humour as a mechanism to sort all sorts of things out. These days, I don’t have a choice. You could tell me something really serious and I will immediately have to battle the funny thoughts running around my head. Here’s one example:
In the west of Ireland, there have been some disastrous floods lately, which have caused great distress to families and people have been forced to evacuate their homes. Over the weekend, due to work, I had reason to familiarise myself with these events. Immediately, the thoughts in my head started telling me that they know a guy called Colm Flood who is surrounded by a family of Floods and is used to being in the company of Floods. This of course didn’t help anyone but do you think I could get the funny thoughts out of my head to let the serious thoughts in? If you’re in any doubt, the answer is No.
This is just one of many examples I could mention. I’ve been trying to scare the bejaysus out of the funny thoughts and exercise the demons by listening to carefully selected music. Yesterday I played Leonard Cohen’s ‘A singer must die’ which is a song that would depress a hyena. Rather that depress the funny thoughts, the song made them dance ecstatically as if they never had to work another day in their life. Not only that but they began to change the lyrics and title of the song. By the end of the track, they had renamed the song to ‘You better get used to us Bill Y ‘cause we’re here for good’. It’s not easy to deal with such stubborn thoughts. I think I’m just going to have to put up with them for now but I’m a resourceful animal and I will have the last laugh.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It’s good to mock accepts no responsibility for any floods, living or dead who appeared in the above post. For what it’s worth, Colm is real. I know it looks like a made up name but it isn’t. Seriously, it isn’t. Don’t think I’m kidding ‘cause I’m not. What do you mean you don’t believe me? Do you think all names are sensible? If so, you should talk to my friend Katrina Hurricane. Bill Y