Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Painting everyone with a different brush

I like people but it just so happens that not everyone does. A friend of mine doesn’t like people. She says “People are so weird and should come with a ratings system tattooed on their forehead”. I was curious about how a ratings system would work with people and asked her to clarify. I cant remember word for word what she said but it went something like this:
  • You could use a colour ratings system such as:
  • Yellow: General Audiences – This person is mundanely average and boring and will more than likely say words heard in The Wizard of Oz.
  • Green: Parental Guidance Suggested – This person is average but may use words such as hell or Bon Jovi which may not be suitable for children.
  • Brown: Parents Strongly Cautioned – This person is stable but may have started to understand the value of Mocking. 
  • Purple: Restricted – This person needs to be watched and is probably a Daniel O’Donnell fan. Proceed slowly and carry a stick, just in case.
  • Red: Danger – This person should not be spoken to and is probably as unstable as a table with one and a half legs. 
  • Really Red – This person is probably a Film Director who will marry his 14 yr old step daughter. 
While I don’t agree with my friend, I do understand where she’s coming from and it does make a certain amount of sense. I won’t say what colour she gave me. Let’s just say she described me “as stable as a chair balancing on a table while running a marathon". Bill Y


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