Friday, December 4, 2009

When you're a head, stay ahead.

In a perfect world, we’d all head off on a holiday every two weeks to recharge the parts of the body that insist on been recharged elsewhere. Unfortunately, due to having less disposable income, we’re taking far less holidays than we used to and because of this we have to be more selective about the destinations we choose. While the sun kissed beach resorts will always attract visitors, the more adventurous traveller may want to look into visiting my head. Although my head is off the beaten track and may appeal more to student backpackers on a budget, than normal people, it does have a lot of thoughts which you can engage and question.

Situated just above my shoulders, my head is surrounded by an ear to the left and an ear to the right. The top is covered by a protein filament that grows through the epidermis from follicles deep within the dermis which is called hair. It is this hair that helps prevent heat loss. The temperature of my head is regulated by the hypothalamus. It is advisable to bring warm clothes in case the hypothalamus decides it doesn’t want to do it’s thing.

The capital city is called Mass Confusion. Although the currency of my head is stuff, the locals been known to trade in insults.

The best way to enjoy a stress free trip is to plan ahead for every eventuality. If you’re planning a visit, please note, you will need vaccinations for sarcasm prior to travelling. Even if you think you are immune to sarcasm, it is highly advisable to contact your GP as a heavy dose of sarcasm totally changes your outlook on daily life.
From Musicians who can’t play musical instruments to Poets who can’t spell, my head has something for everyone. Ryanair have 2 flights daily which fly to other peoples heads. From there, it is only a 25 hour drive to my head. Recent visitors have this to say about their stay:

  • “Head? More like Headache!” Grace from Dublin
  • “This guys head is so messed up, it made us feel wanted at the beginning and then just ignored us and pretended we didn’t exist.” Girlfriends of Tiger Woods.
  • “I had to leave early as the locals wouldn’t stop laughing. Each time one of them said “when you’re a head”, another would say “stay ahead”. That’s not even funny but they were in hysterics, every single time and there were 21, 387 times!” Butcher Boy Bob from Athy, Co. Kildare.
Further details on visits to my head can be found by visiting websites and stuff. Bill Y


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