Thursday, December 10, 2009

No news is good news


I’ve started questioning everything . It’s been happening since yesterday and I don’t know why. For some reason, I have a smart alec answer for everything. In work, one of the grown ups came out with one of the classics - “There is no I in Team”. No sooner had she finished infecting my ears with such crap, than I barked back - “There is if you’re dyslexic”. I just couldn’t help myself. During the same conversation, she blurted out another cliché  - “There’s no such thing as a free lunch”. This time I growled “I know someone who owns a pub who has given me many a free lunch”. Neither of these responses were anything close to being clever but I just had to have my say. The worst was yet to come. This morning as I was on my way to the office, a guy asked me if I wanted a free newspaper. He was just doing his job and certainly didn’t deserve - “Free? You call this free? Just because money doesn’t exchange hands, doesn’t mean I’m not going to pay for reading this. The articles in newspapers these days are filled with nothing but doom and gloom and it’s a fact that positive images and thoughts promote health and well being. The opposite is also true so I’d be paying with bad health and a shorter lifespan, if I read your so called free paper! So, stick it where the sun doesn’t shine and please tell me someone is going to plant a tree to replace those destroyed to produce this bad news” Again, I know the poor guy didn’t deserve it but I was heading to face the boss and another day of damned clichés. I'll apologise to him tomorrow.

Tree Hugger Bill Y


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