Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Thank you for The Dummies

I’ve said it before but you probably weren’t listening so I’ll repeat my good self and tell you that those For Dummies books are God’s gift to us folk who need them. I began reading them at quite an early age. I think I read my first one when the umbilical cord was cut:

breathingThat book taught me so much. To be honest, I’d go as far as saying I probably wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for it. I enjoyed and learned so much but some of it was quite hard to understand so I read another one which helped me understand how to understand it:

instructions 

 

 

 

 

 

In school, I wasn’t very good at learning. If only someone had written a Learning For Dummies, maybe things would of been different. I always liked football when I was at school but I wouldn’t say I was a technically gifted athlete until I managed to get my hands on:

 football

Unfortunately there are some things that books just can’t teach you. I remember reading two books in succession. One would take a lifetime to study, the other is The Bible:

biblegirlsI haven’t quite figured how how I’m going to become rich but again the books may just come to the rescue. This evening I visited the library and took out a very interesting title. I know some people with a lot of money and may have found a way for them to give it to me:

extortion

Thinking ahead, if the extortion doesn’t work out and the law thinks it’s best for me to live in a house with fellow criminals, I’ll have all the knowledge I need:

prison1                                                                                                           prison2                                                              

They also make unbelievable presents. Nothing says “I love you” like:

stupidity                     

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re lucky and she has a sense of humour, you could always try something like this:

whoring

Bill Y

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