Here at it’s good to mock HQ, we like some things and we dislike other things. We like taking the homemade lemonade out of people. Actually, we like it a lot and next to raining on Bon Jovi’s parade (please don’t get massively confused and think that there is an actual Bon Jovi parade ‘cause there’s not - I hope). There’s no better feeling than watching someone who has taken a heavy dose of mocking, turn around and give it right back to the mocker. If you find yourself in the position of been rightly mocked, the following advice may just help. Standing up for yourself and mocking the mocker can be a work of art if done properly. Conversely, if handled without skill, you can look laughably pathetic. Here’s some do’s and definitely do not’s:
1) Clichés – Repeat 1000 times ‘Clichés are never ever acceptable’. The one thing you need to remember with mockers is, if you give them an inch they’ll take a mile. You may feel like a fish out of water and want to upset the applecart however patience is a virtue so don’t jump the gun by spouting the obvious. Use your imagination and be creative with your choice of words and pretty soon they’ll know whose kettle of fish their goose is cooked in.
2) Confidence – You may well be shaking inside at the constant attention the mocker pays you but that doesn’t mean you have to advertise it. Facial expressions are great in that they can hide a multitude of sins. If you end up been at the end of a marathon mocking and you just want to curl up in a ball and disappear, don’t sulk like the whole of Ireland after being knocked out of the World Cup by the lying, cheating, dog, aka Thierry Henry. Instead just smile, though your heart is aching, smile, even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by... If you smile, with your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just..light up your face with gladness, hide every trace of sadness, although a tear may be ever so near, that's the time you must keep on trying, smile, what's the use of crying, you'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just... smile, though your heart is aching, smile, even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by... if you smile, through your fear and sorrow, smile and maybe tomorrow, you'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile... that's the time you must keep on trying, smile, what's the use of crying, you'll find that life is still worthwhile, If you just smile.
3) Don’t fart farts of fear – This is just asking for trouble and you’ll find you’ve just become a mocking buffet. If this happens, all hope is lost and you may well find that the time in the gym has been well spent as you run Usain Bolt like, to the nearest exit.
4) Don’t soil yourself – For the love of God and the sake of the nasal passage, just don’t go there. If you do end up here, Game Over. Purchase a shovel and head to the nearest cemetery because you’ve just dug your own grave. Have a happy next life. The End. Bill Y