Monday, November 2, 2009

If you can be mocked by me, I can be mocked by me too.

I mock. That’s what I do and I do it a lot. In the interest of fair play I’d like to spend the next few moments mocking myself.

Last Saturday I posted some random facts. One of those facts was:

If you unfolded your brain, it would cover an ironing board.

If I unfolded my brain, it would cover a postage stamp. In the middle of unfolding my brain, I reckon it would become bored as it has the attention span of a massively confused goldfish.

Four times in the last week, I was asked if I was a drummer. This is not the first four times I’ve been asked this question and it won’t be the last. The reason I’m asked this question, is that I constantly go on as if I have a drum kit beside me and tap out rhythms on a desk, on my legs or on anything that comes into contact with me. The answer is No, I’m not a drummer though I am a bassist. Of all the stringed instruments, the bass requires the least amount of talent. That’s why I’m a bassist.

My favourite film is This is Spinal Tap – a documentary (or mockumentary if you will) about a band who are convinced they’re good but have to gig in tiny horrible venues and find themselves in ridiculous situations playing gigs and recording. The reason I like it so much is that I’ve played in bands where we thought we were good and had to gig in tiny horrible venues and found ourselves in ridiculous situations playing gigs and recording. Bill Y


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