Tuesday, October 20, 2009

In the Dragons Den with Dragons.

You may recall my recent letter to the Olympic International Committee (there’s 2 m’s, 2 t’s and 2 e’s in Committee) requesting that they add Mocking as a sport in the 2016 games in Rio. That didn’t quite work out as planned and I was politely told to take a run and jump (ironically, an Olympic sport!)

Very few things get me down and I wasn’t about to let this little setback bother me. I spent seconds trying to figure out how to use my brilliance and came up with a perfect plan. A plan, I have kept quiet until now. I think it will help me grow up as a person, if I share these details. Allow me to frame the picture:

I open the letter from the Olympic International Committee (there’s 2 m’s, 2 t’s and 2 e’s in Committee) and am massively disappointed. For some reason, unbeknown to me, I imagined them all dressed as dragons as they read my letter and I, with my little idea had attempted to enter the dragons den. Then it hit me – I should apply to go on Dragons Den. All I had to do was convince the Dragons that I had a viable business idea and I would be rich.

Not been one who thinks things through, I made a call to a dodgy friend who arranged for me to go on the programme. I forgot about it and returned to being brilliant in daily life.  Time fly’s when your mocking and all of a sudden, the day arrived when I was to meet the Dragons. It was at this stage, I made my major mistake. The average Joe/Josephine Soap, tends to prepare for these things and arranges a business plan and stuff. I’m not put together that way, preferring to make things up as I go along and besides, I can talk for Ireland and probably several more similar size countries such as Israel or Greece.  So there I was, face to face with the dreaded Dragons and I was asked to pitch my idea. The only problem was that I hadn’t got an idea! Words rarely fail me and I sure wasn’t about to let them do it now.

I’m very much a ‘say what you see’ type of guy. Words began to sprint from my mouth and before I knew it, I was telling the Dragons that presenting an idea before them was a terrifying ordeal. I told them, they should try and relax the contestants and that if you could buy a Dragons Den doll/action man, the contestants could practice talking to them before the big ordeal. One of the Dragons had a nasty grin and attempted to interrupt me. I put him in his place in 1.23 seconds. Again, my words started travelling and nasty grin Dragon stood up and screamed at me, telling me to shut up and listen to them. I paused for air and they told me something that stunned the bejaysus outta me.

I was told, there already was a doll available called a YoudooDoll which comes boxed with clothing and photo transfers allowing you to create a personalised doll of yourself, your friends, siblings or even your favourite celebrity! Not only that, but a contestant on Dragons Den had pitched the idea successfully and the Dragons themselves had backed the product! Those Dragons witnessed a quiet Bill Y. Not many people can lay claim to being at such a major event. I remained in shock for several minutes but apparently I attempted to convince them that it was my idea and that someone had obviously entered my mind and stole my thought before it actually became a fully fledged idea. For some reason, they didn’t buy this at all.

I left totally dejected and was really bothered for a couple of seconds until I realised, I should try out for The Apprentice but that’s a story for another day. Bill Y


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