Monday, September 7, 2009

Jodie Foster has a beard and man bits

Hey folks, apparently people who read blogs like reading lists so I thought I’d share a list of things that scare the bejaysus out of me:

  • Jodie Foster – I don’t have a problem with strong independent women but she’s such a strong independent woman that she has a beard and man bits.
  • Musicians who play really ordinary music – If you play in a covers or tribute band, you have to play what you have to play but if you play in an original band, please don’t play variations of ‘House of the Rising Sun’. Grow a pair like Jodie and express yourself.
  • Sitting with somebody chewing food with an open mouth – This one one makes me break out in a cold sweat of fear and pain. Food was made to be chewed with a closed mouth. No more words are needed.
  • Small Talk – I just can’t be bothered with it. Talk should be huge not small.
  • Women with Adams Apples – Take a bow Ms. Foster.
  • Not been able to listen to Talking Heads – This just doesn’t bare thinking about.
  • Twink – If you don’t come from Ireland and don’t know who Twink is, she’s an institution (or she should be in one) who stars in Pantomime.
  • My bank balance – Surely the bank has made a mistake!
  • Speaking to myself on the phone – I have this irrational fear of answering the phone and having myself on the other end. That would be one weird conversation.
  • Excel Spreadsheets – All that information neatly tucked away in it’s cell make me sick. Maybe some of the information wants to be run free in the wild. Open the zoo and let them out!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...