Avian Hypnotism

In an attempt to do something useful with my life, I've been learning how to hypnotize birds. I began by watching Dr. Doolittle and learned how to talk to the animals. It's not really that hard to master the technique and anyway, once we discard the Christian fairytale that God created the universe and all species of life along with the world itself, we'll all agree that we descended from monkeys so talking to animals was never going to be difficult. Whilst I have your attention, you may be able to help me out. I'm going to hypnotize this bird. Let me know if it works: