Dislike me for the brilliant, unique and talented person I am and not for the fact that I'm not afraid to share the news with the world.

It has been suggested (by me) that I become the patron saint of mockers. I realise there’s a process involved in becoming a saint but as I’m not in the mood for the whole canonisation thing, I think I’ll just bypass it and declare myself a saint. This is not something I have chosen to do lightly. I’ve been brilliant in my last four lifetimes and didn’t think it would happen again but it has. Some of you might think I’m getting a little ahead of myself but when today’s news is revealed, you will definitely change your mind for today is the day I have chosen to make an everlasting change to society as we know it. Please step back and applaud loudly so as not to fall on deaf ears. Ladies, gentlemen and Thirsty Dave, I proudly present proof of water on mars:




To be cont…