Monday, July 20, 2009

I'm scared, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

When we're young we are convinced we can do anything.
When we're drunk we sometimes pretty much feel the same way.
I can't remember how or why I ended up at a venue frequented by pensioners but it was a Sunday night and I had consumed an abundance of alcohol. I was with a guitarist friend and it was hard to know who was making less sense. More than likely, it was me. The entertainment that night consisted of a 250 year old waistcoated man strumming an out of tune guitar, accompanied by his own out of tune vocals. The assembled audience were loving his rendition of Dickie Rock songs. As the night moved on, so did our tolerance and more and more 250 year old folk who knew each other, began to fill the place up. So much so that we were politely asked to move to another seat. This didn't bother us at all as we'd arranged to have one more beer and then said we would move on somewhere a bit more alive. We had an acoustic guitar with us and the Dickie singer noticed it as we were changing seats. Like any good comedian who always has a one liner ready for any occasion, the Dickie singer let out a roar over the microphone 'There's the lads who'll be coming up to sing a song in a moment, how are ye lads?'.I usually come alive when I have an audience but we were fairly drunk and this coupled with the fact that neither of us could sing didn't help. And of course we had nothing rehearsed. All of a sudden we heard over the microphone 'Let's hear it for the lads', a demonstration of approval by clapping of hands and then we were on the stage. Those who know me, know I'm very rarely stuck for words but this was one of those rare times where the cat got my tongue and refused to give it back. All of a sudden I realised that my friend had his guitar to strum on stage which meant I was going to have to sing something. I whispered to my mate 'Is that the sound of your footsteps going to the bar?'. His response was to start playing some chords. He was starting to enjoy it, 'cause he knew I was up the 250 year old creek without a prop. I was terrified so I took to the microphone and told the audience that we were called The Geriatrics and we were gonna need their help with the chorus of this song. I explained that when I gave them the nod, they were to scream the words I'm Scared Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' I got them to practice it a few times and they were clapping their hands, smiling gleefully with not a bother in the world. When this was going on I had heard the chord sequence a few times which at least gave me something to work with. I had a quick word with the guitarist and told him to just keep on playing those chords over and over again. I began to sing words, praising Dickie Rock for his contribution to the music industry! The old folks had no idea what I was on about, but when I said the word 'Dickie Rock' they seemed to react positively. I decided it was time for the chorus, gave them the nod and heard 'I'm Scared Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh' followed by lots of giggling and laughter. They were lapping it up. From then on, it was child's play so we just repeated the same thing three more times and left the stage to rapturous applause. My opinion of those 250 year olds really changed. They were out to enjoy themselves and enjoy themselves they did. Nothing eventful happened after that but that was the night I learned to think on my feet and I've been pretty much making it up as I go along, since then.


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