Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ego bruising mood

Hello and stuff. There are some folk out there who are scared to Mock. I am most definitely not one of those folk. I find Mocking to be one of the great pleasures in life. I’ve made some good friends from taking the exaggerated piss out of people, however there is a downside. According to research which I have no knowledge of – ‘first impressions last’. It’s probably not massively wise to mock someone when meeting them for the first time but if you don’t have a good enough sense of humour to at least laugh at someone who is laughing at you, then you should open a freezer and chill.

Ego bruising mood

I was auditioning as a bassist for a well known band. In the corridor of the venue, there were a lot of familiar faces. Though there are a lot of musicians in Dublin, you tend to meet the same people again and again. Thinking back now, I didn’t even want the gig but someone had told me that this particular band had some serious ego issues and I was in ego bruising mood that morning. The sight of 100+ bass players in a room surely has some merit for a sit com but After 4 hours of watching and listening to these people play the same tune over and over, I had a headache that no woman could soothe. Eventually I got into the room with the band who looked at me as if I had forgotten something. I had forgotten something – a bass guitar! I shook hands with the band members and told them I had left the bass in to be fixed and it wasn’t ready yet for collection. They had a bass in the room and the grinning drummer handed me the instrument. I should point out that I’m fairly self assured and confident when playing bass, but I was cultivating an imbecile like image in that room and it was working a treat. I was asked if I’d learned any of the bands songs to which I responded by taking out some sheet music form my back pocket. I asked them which Kylie song they wanted to play. The singer thought I was having a laugh so I showed him the various Kylie songs I had brought with me. To say he looked massively confused would be as understated as the 2005 weather in New Orleans! I let them know that if they wanted to play a different Kylie song, that I could watch the guitarist and learn the song pretty fast. It was then that the question came, ‘Why would we want to play a Kylie song?’. I told them that I thought their songs had the same formulaic structure of every Kylie song I had heard. The singer thought I was joking until I pointed out ‘Cant get you outta my head‘ sounded like the last four songs on their last album. If you’re ever going to try this, the trick is to keep a straight face when your natural instinct is to laugh uncontrollably. It was time to leave as the once smiling band members began to take on fairly aggressive facial expressions and stances. I told the guys I had to go as I was meeting up with a singer/songwriter who thought she was Kate Bush!

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