It was the beginning of a new relationship and optimism was alive and kicking. Cynicism hadn't visited and there was nothing in the air to hint that she would.
April - not her real name but a name none the less, looked great and was in great form too.
Her best friend in the world was getting married that day and I'd managed to borrow a hi-spec digital camera for the event. April was delighted as her camera was old and sick and not working very well at all. I took lots of pictures of the bride and groom as they left the church and we went and had our meal. It was one of those days where everyting fell into place and I didn't even offend anyone with the usual nonsense that comes out of my mouth. As the evening progressed, we had a few drinks and got into the party spirit. I took some pictures of April on the dancefloor and proceded to show off my handywork to her mum who commented that her daughter looked really well. I went over to April to show her the pictures of her funky dance routine and she got a good laugh out of it. She asked if she could see one particular picture from earlier that day and I opened the memory card to look for it. It became clear fairly quickly that I had deleted all of the pictures from earlier that day and April's facial expression changed from that of an sweet angel to one of a demented demon. I've seen Rage Against the Machine play live yet I haver never heard such a loud monotonus stream of abuse come from a solitary person. I remember wondering if she could be heard on multiple continents and if so was she scaring the bejayus out of other nationalities in the same way she was causing half of Ballyfermots eardrums to bleed. I knew there was no possiblity of horns protruding from her head but for one brief moment I witnessed a level of hatred which could have leapt straight out of the pages of Mein Kampf. As you can imagine, I went home alone that night after apologising for nearly 4 hours. The fledgling relationship faded out shortly after and I had no complaints at all. Granted, I had messed up with the pictures but the punishment surely didn't fit the crime. If this was the consequences of the camera fiasco, can you imagine my fate if a condom had burst and she became pregnant! A lucky escape, methinks!