Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Okay, before any of you smart mockers out there decide to say words about this, let me stress that I know I said there would be no more Flight of the Conchords clips but this one is better than all the rest put together. As far as we’re concerned, these guys are right up there with Fr. Ted for their originality. The song is called Carol Brown/Girlfriends from the past. Enjoy. Bill Y
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
“You’ll love it, it’s a spoof documentary (a mockumentary, if you will) of a fictional heavy metal band called Spinal Tap.”
I somehow got the impression that she wasn’t quite listening to me. Rather than hear my description of Spinal Tap, I think she actually heard something like this:
“This world is not very nice to kids. Everywhere they look, they’re surrounded by and immediately want, sweets and toys – the holy grail! To prey on the kids needs like this is just so wrong. And when the parents say no, they are the bad people. Then there are so many electrical sockets in every house. How the bejaysus can we expect a kid not to stick their fingers into a socket. The socket may as well have a picture of Santa, trying to entice them to put their hand in and grab free toys and sweets. Is this not cruelty? A nice garden is thought of as a necessity to bring up a kid. Gardens have walls or trees or swings and stuff, all which are can be climbed. Kids marvel at grown ups and want to be right up there with them in the grown up world so they try and climb anything that is put in their path. Then we tell them to get down and not to climb! Again, not cool. In the years that follow, they can look forward to adolescence and the realisation that working life sucks. What have I got myself into”.
I’m glad I’m not a pregnant girl! Bill Y
Sunday, September 27, 2009
“The ultimate introduction to the life and works of the King. Want to understand Elvis Presley?”
Often I will find something funny, yet when I explain it to somebody else, they can’t see anything funny in it at all. This is one of those occasions. I went up to one of the librarians who has been working there for a long time and asked if she thought Elvis for Dummies was in any way a strange title. I should explain that this lady ticks all the boxes for the classic cliched Librarian – thick glasses, mousy hair, cardigan and a smile which must of left the last time the Titanic did. I’m not saying I don’t find this a turn on but that’s not what we’re talking about right now. Suffice to say, she found nothing funny or unusual about the title of the book. The fact that she chose not to use any words and instead looked at me with foul disgust shouldn’t of turned me on, but it did. I decided not to take the book for the following reasons:
To understand Elvis Presley, would it not be better to listen to some of his music or watch some of his films? How about eating one of the many burgers he adored or drinking a massive amount of the alcohol he consumed? Sure, the book could explain how many songs he released or how many films he made but listening to or watching his work has to be better than reading about it? Please tell me, I make even a little bit of sense? If not, I’m going to pass on those free Christy Moore tickets and just read the review of the concert, next day. Bill Y
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
What the hell are you doing here?
This is not a statistical data analysis or a biometrics site and if you ended up here, thinking it was, you got massively lost somewhere along the way. The way I see it, you have two choices:
1) Use the back button on your browser and pretend this never happened.
2) Have a look around and see if anything takes your fancy.
If you choose option 2, you may end up having a laugh and that is precisely what It’s good to mock is all about. There’s much too much seriousness in this world and any distraction from it is surely a positive thing. If you found your way here by accident, maybe it wasn’t an accident at all. Maybe, it was meant to happen and maybe you’ll bookmark the site and visit again for some more of the same. You can also try and count the amount of times Jodie Foster is mentioned. Bill Y
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
As I reached the office, I was immediately struck by the lack of cars in the car park. Usually, the car park is full quite early in the morning but as I counted the amount of cars there, I realised that there were in fact No cars there. There was also a lack of people or more to the point No people. Alarm bells went off in my head followed by these questions:
- Where are the cars?
- Where are those who usually put petrol in and drive those cars?
- Where was the security guard?
- Are these my hands?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
|sarcastic ||cynical ||relaxed ||mockable ||stupid ||brilliant |
|right ||about ||now ||the ||funk ||soul |
|brother ||check ||it ||out ||now ||the |
|funk ||soul ||bother ||right ||about ||now |
|the ||funk ||soul ||brother ||check ||it |
|out ||now ||the ||funk ||soul ||brother |
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Some people wear certain clothes which make them believe they’re cool. Clothes people, I mock you. Some listen to certain bands which they believe make them cool. Bands people, I mock you.There are some who think hanging out with a certain group of people, make them cool. To the group who hang out with the group to be cool, I mock you. Some people spend every second of every day, trying to be cool. These people are perhaps the least cool of all and I mock you. As far as I can tell, there are two types of cool people. The first isn’t cool at all but manufactured by massively expensive marketing and PR. Pop stars, Actors, Footballers, etc fall into this category. I think the real cool people are those who are relaxed enough about themselves, that they don’t give a damn what others think about them. Relaxed people, I salute you. I also salute the people who read this for you too are cool. If I was like that runner Caster Semenya, who has the man bits and woman bits, I would gladly have your children. Actually, I should probably rephrase that. As a man, I already have the man bits, I just don’t have the woman bits. Bill Y
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Fact 2 – Tomorrow is Friday which means Shatner Friday.
It’s time to break with tradition and turn your world upside own. Today we’re going to have Shatner Thursday! I do not apologise for this and not only do I not apologise for it, I reserve the right to shake things up again at a moments notice. I could explain in detail why this is happening but don’t think I should. My job is to provide you with original content on a daily basis. I take this job seriously and will continue to do so, to the best of my ridiculously limited ability. If you can guess what’s around the corner, I won’t only change what’s around the corner, I will change where the corner is!
Take Bill Shatner, give him a classic Pulp song and you just know you’re going to end up with work of the highest standard. Witness Bill singing his version of ‘Common People’ and restore your faith in music. Enjoy. Bill Y
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
‘I used to like blogs until I came across ‘ Its good to mock’. Now I just like snakes and ladders.' Bill Y
‘If I ever need to be more confused than a confused fuse, I log onto this blog and take my meds.’ Bill Y
‘That guy with the large head has has no eyes, mouth, ears or nose. He reminds me of me.' Bill Y
‘I like the way he uses letters to make words to make sentences to make no sense at all.’ Bill Y
‘Who the bejaysus comments on his own blog anyway?’ Bill Y
‘I asked the internet people if they could make it go away, they told me to start a pettition.’ Bill Y
‘It appears on my phone and makes me want to get a phone without the internet on it.’ Bill Y
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Allow me to take direct your attention to something which hasn’t happened yet but definitely will. When the blog goes global, I expect a lot of people are going to want to talk to me so I thought I would get some practice with answering interviewer questions by interviewing myself.
Interviewer me: Thanks for taking the time to chat with us Bill Y, I know you’re a busy man right now. What made you get into blogging in the first place?
Me: Well, there were 2 main reasons for starting It’s good to mock. There are so many thoughts running around in my head, I felt sorry for them. They had nowhere to go and were massively confused. While they wanted to come out to play, there was nowhere for them to play. So I started the blog and they began to meet other thoughts that had derived from comments from my readers. Immediately they began to blossom and grow and I’m quite optimistic for their future. The second reason I started the blog was to become famous. I think it’s fair to say that it’s worked out fairly well in that respect?
Interviewer me: Some authors are known for spending agonising amounts of time on their posts. Do you spend a lot of time actually coming up with ideas or have you any specific routine you follow.
Me: I don’t have a routine but I carry a notebook and jot down words or phrases as they come to me. I find it therapeutic to watch an idea blossom into it’s own entity and command it’s own space in the blog post. Most of the time, the initial idea mutates so much by the time it’s published that you wouldn’t recognise it unless you were it’s mother or girlfriend.
Interviewer me: Since you left your day job to concentrate fully on the blog, there’s seems to have been a shift from video based posts to more written word posts. Can we expect this to continue?
Me: I’ve never followed any pattern and doubt if I ever will but I think having more time to put letters together and make then into words has had an effect on the posts lately.
Interviewer me: Is there anything you miss about the day job?
Me: I don’t miss the work though I do miss the people. Having said that, I remain in contact with my old work friends and they tend to keep me grounded which is no easy feat.
Interviewer me: Seriously, who the bejaysus interviews themselves? Was no-one else good enough?
Interviewer Me: Since the early days, there’s always been a link between music and humour in your posts. Can you tell our readers a little about this?
Me: Sure I can. Music has always been my passion, both the playing and listening. It’s all about expression. When you’re playing in a band in full flow, your personality comes out and depending on the musicians around you, art can be created. Jazz musicians exist because they become bored playing conventional music. Humour is also an extension of personality. If I was to describe my sense of humour as a style of music, I would call it jazz because it became bored with conventional humour a long time ago. Thank Krishna, there are some jazz lovers out there!
Interviewer me: Can I ask why you’ve just thrown that television out the window?
Me: It’s part of my campaign to watch less television. I realised some time ago, that if you throw televisions out the window, you tend to spend less time watching them. It’s probably got to do having no television set in the room.
Interviewer me: If you were to start another blog, what would you blog about and what would you call it?
Me: If I stared a new blog, it would be about the effect that work has on personality and it would be called www.getthatclampoffmypersonalityyoubastard.com
Interviewer me: That’s quite an interesting idea?
Me: Well, I’ve been called quite a lot of things but as of yet I’ve never been called interesting. Thank you!
Interviewer me: You look look like you’re bored at the moment, are you?
Me: Yes I am, are we finished?
Interviewer me: Eh, yes we are. Thank you for your time.
Me: You’re welcome, close that door as you leave.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
People who know stuff tell me it’s best to write about things you know. My problem is, I don’t know very much! I’d like to be able to share some words of wisdom with you, but I’m not very wise. When asked about my occupation, I usually answer ‘I’m not a failed musician although I do not currently make a living doing music stuff’. Today I ask for help. I think it’s time you gave something back to me for all the nonsense I’ve been throwing at you. In order to take this thing to next level, I need to buy an address for the blog which is easier to remember than the one in your address bar right now. Available addresses that I’m thinking about at the moment include:
I like the four of them equally but would value your opinion massively. Please let me know if you like any off them. If you have any ideas for a name yourself, you can log on to http://www.godaddy.com/ where you can see if the name is available and drop me a comment. Make me proud, you bunch of mockers. Thanks a mil. Bill Y
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Hey folks, apparently people who read blogs like reading lists so I thought I’d share a list of things that scare the bejaysus out of me:
- Jodie Foster – I don’t have a problem with strong independent women but she’s such a strong independent woman that she has a beard and man bits.
- Musicians who play really ordinary music – If you play in a covers or tribute band, you have to play what you have to play but if you play in an original band, please don’t play variations of ‘House of the Rising Sun’. Grow a pair like Jodie and express yourself.
- Sitting with somebody chewing food with an open mouth – This one one makes me break out in a cold sweat of fear and pain. Food was made to be chewed with a closed mouth. No more words are needed.
- Small Talk – I just can’t be bothered with it. Talk should be huge not small.
- Women with Adams Apples – Take a bow Ms. Foster.
- Not been able to listen to Talking Heads – This just doesn’t bare thinking about.
- Twink – If you don’t come from Ireland and don’t know who Twink is, she’s an institution (or she should be in one) who stars in Pantomime.
- My bank balance – Surely the bank has made a mistake!
- Speaking to myself on the phone – I have this irrational fear of answering the phone and having myself on the other end. That would be one weird conversation.
- Excel Spreadsheets – All that information neatly tucked away in it’s cell make me sick. Maybe some of the information wants to be run free in the wild. Open the zoo and let them out!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
With the personality of a pig headed pig, she’s someone who’s never wrong (in her own head anyway) yet is always first to point out when she thinks someone else is. I tend to think of her when I think of diseases. If you ever have a daughter who turns out like her, you’d disown her and emigrate to another planet. Nobody’s perfect and I’m living proof of that but compared to her, I would be the patron saint of perfectness. It would be easy to print her name but that’s not the way I roll. Most people have at least one redeeming quality. If I find hers, I’ll let you know!
Hey everybody, happy Bill Y is back and the sun is shining on the house on the hill. I feel so much better after that!